As far back as I can remember, I’ve been a goal-setting, list-making perfectionist, who has been able to accomplish whatever I set my mind on accomplishing. There is a bit of success that comes with this but the cost is in the measure of joy I have along the way. It’s a tough road to travel when one is constantly striving to be more, be better, be enough. There is no time to admire the scenery. There is no stopping to refill my fuel tank. And there is no stretch of highway that doesn’t have a road block of expectations (usually my own) hampering my progress.
When it comes to joy… you can’t get there from here.
So, I’m throwing away the map that got me to this point and trusting my inner compass instead. It’s been trying to lead the way but I’ve been ignoring it on this race to the top. The top of what? Some future achievement? When? Always later, I now realize. There is no destination on this kind of a journey. It’s a constant push for a future reward that comes at a price, if it comes at all.
Someone said that depression is a focus on the past and anxiety is a focus on the future. The only way to be happy is to “Focus on the Present”. Let me throw in a few more affirmations for good measure- Go with the Flow; Let Go; Take What’s Working and Leave the Rest; Seize the Day. You get the point and finally, I do, too.
One of the first things I did to nurture myself this year was register for LifeBook 2015, the amazing online art experience… the art extravaganza, actually… created by Tamara Laporte. She organized a yearlong exploration of art through a variety or techniques and mediums as taught by over 25 artists, including Joanne Sharpe, Flora Bowley, Jane Davenport, Alisa Burke, and herself. It’s contemplative, it’s creative, and most of all it’s FUN!!
It’s time to enjoy life and release what no longer serves. I don’t know how many of you out there are Type-A perfectionists like me but to say “That’s enough” and most important, “I’m enough” is huge!!! I have given myself permission to play and have fun along the way.
These are some of the pieces I’ve created through LifeBook so far this year. This experience is for the joy of creating and that’s all. And that’s enough.