I thought I fully embraced transformation–eagerly desiring positive change and building bridges to what I envision as the next phase of my life. But something has been getting in my way. Me. I’m building my own roadblocks as fast as I’m building bridges.
This is a common pattern for me and many others. We get close to fulfilling a dream and then pull away out of fear, whether it be deepening a new relationship, deciding to move, or changing careers.
I’m grateful for finally recognizing this for it means I am in a position to break the cycle of self-defeating behavior.
What do I mean by “bridges”?
Bridges are any action or decision you make in alignment with your soul’s wish. When I decided to leave Virginia, I focused on finishing my masters’ degree, got certified in other states, sent out resumes, made phone calls, and traveled hundreds of miles for interviews.
As I got closer to my goal, I let fear overpower me and I started building roadblocks instead.
What do I mean by “roadblocks”?
Roadblocks are the barriers to success and the awakening of our authentic Selves. They are any action or behavior that gets in the way of reaching your goal or fulfilling your dream. When I accepted a position and prepared to move, I began to sabotage myself in three significant ways. FIrst, I claimed to be “too busy” to follow up with realtors who were trying to sell my house & help me find a new one. Second, I let perfectionism paralyze me, making the excuse that everything had to be perfectly in place before I’d move forward. And lastly, I shut down. I was so scared about the scale of this life change that I couldn’t make any decision regarding the move for a few days.
There are already plenty of roadblocks between us and the fulfillment of our dreams. Do we honestly need to sabotage our Selves, denying our right to happiness and an authentic life? Naguib Mahfouz wrote, Fear does not prevent death, it prevents LIFE.”
So what am I doing differently?
Anything. Everything. It only takes one itty bitty baby step to break that negative thought pattern. I am acknowledging my fear and taking the next step anyway. I am choosing to listen to my intuition more than my inner critic.
To learn more about my painting called Transformation (seen above) or to view my other work,
visit me at www.etsy.com/shop/PureSusan .